Sunday 27 March 2016

Until I see you in me..!!



Hey Mom,

There is nothing more joyous than being wrapped in your six yard saree. You know he says I looked beautiful when I choose to wear your fanatic treasure you safe guarded all these years so you could pass it to me.  But Maa how can I disclose him that it was not just any saree, it’s a perfect art of sliding into your warmness which I long for on those random unaimed days. Everytime I move my fingers on your kanchivaram, the lustrous shine or the feather smoothness would instantly rush me to ramble on the memory lane in no time.

Then were the days when  running behind you holding your pallu was my favorite game, when i had to cry I had the softness to curl in your lap and no matter how hard the things would get, the tiny tinkles of your moving bangles would sing lullaby, when everything  would seem blurred on the far side, the shadow of you walking to me draped in colorful saree would put that smile on me and I would just fall on my knees and convince myself as how Should I get away all my life without getting to dig in my face in those crumpled plates of your saree which always posed as cradle of your warm demeanour.

Then, how you could bid me adieu that day?  Did you flow in the same whirlwind of emotions i had underneath my feet or you had bigger storm of melancholy in your heart. As you let me go did you feel the same pain when I fought with your pelvic bone to push myself out of your womb or was it much more than I could justify the impulsive emotional outburst I had then.  Or is it that you always foresee this day? Were you aware that your little girl would one day unbind herself from you and walk into other world where she will leave your footprints in her every hustle bustle she could go through. When all my life you bubbled yourself around me as a cushion of comfort, how well you knew that I would still call for every shot without the torch of your guiding light. How you always go into hiding your tears behind that smile.  How you always knew it all..?

Amma, Today I am again draped in your saree and will be draping myself in one many more times until standing in front of Mirror I could see You in ME..

Monday 21 March 2016

A note from HER dairy..!!




I have inked my soul with the infinite love for your existence in my mind on the platitude of alarmed state you left me. it is my inanity that i am still purely enslaved my endurance in anticipation of you to listen up to this pursuer of your love. Waking up every time with faint hearten numbness striking down to my veins is not curious anymore as every wall and pillow could eavesdrop to unheard prayers dried up with tears. How with every breath i have become so naive to deal with this sliced thoughts of my discomposed mind and heart which are stirred beyond the stretch of acute illusion i have been framing in your absence. i am drained with a consumed thoughts where they said its going to be entirely ok..!! how i wish i can Band-Aid my whispered remark to them that how profoundly uncommon you were to slip down in to lot beneath me where i kept all my doors open and YOU just decided to stand out and stare..!! How i wish...!!